Josh Brake: Hey, everybody.

Welcome back.

Good to be with you guys again, uh, today.

And, um, I'm recording this on
January 14th on a Tuesday and,

um, two weeks into the new year.

And, uh, and, and just as, if
not more excited about what

God is doing, uh, in our midst.

His providence, the way that he
leads and guides is just crazy.

Um, I've mentioned this a few times
over the last couple of weeks.

But he continues to just put people
in our path that provide something

that we need in that moment and,
um, like yesterday had lunch with a

man who I think him and his family
will, he said, they're praying about

potentially being a part of our church
later, but turns out he has a rental.

An office that he rents with his
company, and it's like, in the

exact spot that we're looking to
plant, and it would provide a place

for me to be present in the city.

So, man, it's, it's just so cool as
I can't remember if I have, if I've

mentioned this in the last couple of
episodes, but I'll just come out and

say it that the Lord has directed us
to Richardson and specifically over

by UTD, University of Texas at Dallas.

Lots of students.

There are 30000 students, very diverse,
eclectic, um, Richardson's a growing city.

More, more, more than that, though,
we, we feel the Lord there and wanting

to do something very significant
and supernatural, their healings and

deliverances and, um, uh, just a full
on attack on the enemy and what he's

been doing and Richardson and partner
with the church is already doing

work there and ministries and stuff.

So, you know, 1 thing I have to keep
myself from is, oh, yeah, we're going to

start this new work in this place and, you
know, getting kind of kind of surrendering

that and, and, you know, Submitting
to the Lord and humility and saying

there's a lot of Really awesome churches
that have been doing a lot of really

great work for years now in Richardson.

And, um, we, we want to partner
with them and contribute and

serve in any way that we can.

So, uh, Richardson, the space that I
was telling you about the rental space

that I think I might try to join,
uh, is a joint venture between the

city of Richardson and which is the
exact, you know, that's just crazy.

We want to be in Richardson and minister
around and near and, and so, um.

That that's, that's really exciting.

So, um, yeah, just a few random
updates had a zoom call last night

with new life church in Odessa.

They were the 1st church plant from
golf course road church of Christ, which

is the flagship church for nexus, the
church planting network that we're in

and they are going to partner with us
financially at some capacity as another

church to come alongside us, which would
make about if you include the branch.

I think.

Eight or nine, which is just wild.

Um, God is good.

And that will put us just under, uh, 400,
000 committed, like in three, four months.

That's insane.

And it, It's very humbling, and I feel
very honored, and it makes me think God

has some really cool things in store.

Now, you don't need money
to make an influence.

You don't need these types of
resources to make a footprint.

Jesus didn't.

He hardly had anything.

Um, He lived off the support of the
women and their business that they had.

You can read that in the book of Luke.

I think it's Luke 8?

You can look and find Jesus.

He lived off of other people's
earnings and they gave to his to him

in his ministry and it wasn't a lot.

You know, he didn't have a place to live.

He stayed in other people's homes.

So, so I don't presume to say,
because I have all these resources,

God's going to use us in this
church more than other churches.

But, but, but, but because of the
resources, I think he's providing

ways to minister in a expensive city.

in a way that, um, is just going
to be unique and different.

And, and he's just showing himself
worthy of worship and, uh, the, just

the generous nature of his kingdom.

So, um, yeah, super, super blessed
by that really encouraged by

what the Lord is doing there.

Um, I want to share,

Oh, here's a testimony.

I'm going to share a testimony first.

Um, without using any names or
anything, there was a woman that I

prayed for with a couple of others.

Sal was one of them.

I prayed for her a few weeks ago.

It was a while at this point,
maybe a couple months ago.

And um, she came to me on Sunday
and said, Hey, I want to testify.

I'm like, Oh, come on.

We're in it for the stories.

We want to hear testimonies
and it builds our faith.

And so she said, okay, well,
um, uh, remember our prayer

time, I'm like, yes, of course.

And she said.

Well before that, I didn't tell
you this, but before that I was

having really dark pictures.

I won't go into what those pictures
were, but I've been, I was having

really dark and evil pictures
come into my mind, and it was

oppressive, and it was really scary.

And since our prayer time, 90
percent of those have been gone.

They just have been gone.

And I was like, wow, that's amazing.

And do you remember what the
theme of our prayer time was?

And she's like, um,
I'm trying to remember.

And I was like, it was love.

It was love that you are
the bride of Christ and his

he's your he's your husband.

He's your bridegroom.

He loves you he laid his life down for
you and Wants intimacy and love to share

with you and she was like, oh my gosh.

I remember that now Yes, that was so
so and so we talked about you know

her history and a little bit more and
how Jesus is teaching her to trust him

as bridegroom and And so then I said,
hey, you know, you said 90 percent

you want that 10 percent to be gone?

You She was like, yes, yes, absolutely.

So she puts her stuff down, we start
praying and the power of God comes on her.

Um, she doesn't fall
down, but she gets heavy.

You can see, she's like feeling like
the weight, like the power, weight,

glory, Kabod of God is on her and she's
shaking, she's crying, she's snotty

and the Lord is just touching her, man.

It was awesome.

And she was feeling loved and blessed
and things were coming to mind.

I was praying for and just
declaring stuff, truth over her.

And that was, um, it was, it was
powerful right there at the front

of the, you know, at the altar
and at the farmer's branch campus.

And, uh, said amen.

And she was really ministered to
really, really touched and blessed.

And, and I was so encouraged by
that, but here's, here's also why I'm

telling you that just to build your
faith that God is pursuing people.

Uh, and as ministers of the gospel,
we have the truth of the word of God

to declare over people, to pray into
people and to impart to people that

sets them free and delivers them.

But I think that there's something
unique in that story that God

is doing in my personal life
and my relationship with him.

But also.

In the earth, um, or not in the
earth, but like in this hour, so

to speak in this day of the church.

Again, I said this last episode,
I'm not saying I'm a prophet,

but I'm just seeing patterns.

That's, and I'm only just paying attention
to patterns, uh, and, and connecting

dots, uh, from what I see when, what
I see God doing over here and over

there and over there and over here.

And you put those together and
you see themes and then those

themes, uh, are how God is working
maybe in this day in this hour.

So I wanted to share another thing.

Related to this idea of
bride and bridegroom.

Um, I've been captivated by the picture
of john the apostle who wrote the gospel

of john first second and third john and
the book of revelation, uh, and I've

been just captivated by the picture of
him laying his head on jesus's chest,

you know in in the gospel of john john
refers himself to refers to himself

as The disciple whom Jesus loved

and in fact in john 13, it's the
last supper Jesus just washed the

disciples feet and they sit down and
jesus was troubled in his spirit and

he testified saying truly truly I say
to you one of you will betray me and

the disciple Disciples looked at one
another uncertain of whom he spoke one

of his disciples Whom jesus loved was
reclining at table at jesus's side.

Okay, jesus referred.

I'm sorry John refers to himself as the
disciple whom jesus loved He doesn't

say, the disciple who loved Jesus.

He is not saying this competitively.

He's not trying to say, I love
Jesus more than everybody else.

What he is trying to make clear
is that the identifying mark of

John is his understanding and his
receiving of the love of Jesus.

And how do we see that manifest itself?

He was reclining at table
in the bosom of Jesus.

That's what the Greek says,
in the bosom of Jesus.

Ooh, I feel the Lord on that.

This is not competitive.

John is not proving to other people.

I loved Jesus more than you
I loved him more than Judas.

I loved him more even than Peter.

I loved him more than Matthew
or James my brother He this

is not a competitive thing.

This is someone who truly Believes and
has received the love of Jesus for him

so much so that he would lay in the bosom
of the Lord of his master and his savior.

You know that song?

Uh, Master, Savior, Jesus, like
the fragrance after the rain.

Remember that, that song?

Come into mind.

Something about that name, Jesus.

And John knows that.

And he is laying there with his
head on his chest, on his bosom.

What if that I think the Lord is trying
to He's trying to draw us into that again.

Not just this woman I
prayed for on Sunday.

I think he's drawing the
church back into his bosom.

I feel, I feel that in my own life.

Every time I go to spend time
with him, I start with the love

of Jesus displayed on the cross.

Him laying his life down for me.

I start there.

Because none of this story in
the scriptures makes sense if

you, uh, divorce it from love.

Love makes you do crazy things.

And this story is a crazy story,
that God would come in the flesh and

subject himself to death on a cross
so that those who did not deserve

it might have life in his name.

That does not make any sense unless it's
motivated by and permeates with love.

This unconditional love coming
from a heart that is, that is love.

He doesn't love to receive
something in return.

He loves because it's who he is.

This is what Jesus,

John, John, the apostle, is pointing out.

He's saying what defines me more than
anything is the fact that my friend, my

savior, my master, the Christ, loves me.

What if that was what defined us?

Not a church, not a people, not a church.

That love Jesus so much, but people
that know he loves us so much.

Now we will reciprocate that love.

You can't not when someone loves you that
much, you can't not look back and love.

That's the nature of love.

It is reciprocating.

Um, but you have to receive it.

And John, I think just received it
so much so that he lays his head.

He's like cuddling.

I sound so weird.

I know.

But he's almost like cuddling
with Jesus at the dinner table,

like John knew something most of
us don't know the love of Jesus

So Simon Peter is there too, right?

And it says in verse 24 Simon Peter
Motioned to him who to John to

ask Jesus of whom he was speaking.

Okay, let's

Who is Simon Peter if you remember
at the beginning of Matthew?

Jesus says who do you say I am and
Peter says you are the Christ the Son

of the Living God and he says You Uh,
blessed are you Simon Barona for flesh

and blood has not revealed this to you,
but my father, who is in heaven, uh,

and on this rock, you are now Peter,
which means Petros, which is rock.

And on this rock I'll build my church.

So he is saying on the rock of the
revelation of Jesus as the Christ,

that's the foundation of the church.

But he's also pointing Peter out
as a leader of that, that Peter's

gonna lead this thing and he's gonna
give him the keys to the kingdom.

What's loosed on earth
will be loosed in heaven.

What's bound up on earth
will be bound up in heaven.

There's this amazing moment
where, where Jesus is calling

Peter to lead this church.

And so you have this leader,
Simon Peter, that, that's the

spokesperson for, for the disciples.

And anytime you see Jesus ask a
question, who's the one speaking up?

It's Simon, Simon Peter.

Uh, he's strong headed, he's
opinionated, he's convicted,

he's this public leader, right?

This leader.

And, and who, who does he look to?

The leader of the disciples, who
does he look to in this moment?

Where Jesus is bearing his soul,
saying, someone's going to betray me.

When Jesus is troubled,
who do leaders look to?

To lovers.

The leader of the disciples, Simon
Peter, is looking to the lover.

He motions to the one laying in
his bosom and takes his cues, not

from the per, the leader per se.

But from the one he knows

is close to Jesus, is intimate
with Jesus, who knows the love of

Jesus more than maybe any of the
other disciples at this point.

I think there's this shift that happens

in this moment.

Now, I don't want to
disparage Simon Peter.

Okay, because Simon Peter's great
and he goes on to do some incredible

things for the kingdom of God.

He has his ups and downs.

I'm sure john did too.

And I don't know if I can't remember
if we see him I think it was james and

john that asked to sit at his right
hand and left so john's not perfect

But I think this captures something
the lord is doing in this hour.

Um, he's looking for lovers not leaders
Jesus he's looking for men and women but

in this context men who will lay on his
chest and receive his love rather than

look in his eyes and try to lead for him.

He's looking for lovers.

So Simon Peter motions to John
and asks him, hey, tell, tell,

ask Jesus who he's talking about.

So that disciple, leaning back
against Jesus, that word there

means that he moved in closer.

The Greek, anytime that word
is used in the Greek, it means

there's a changing in posture.

So, so John's close, but he leans
in closer to get this answer.

And he says to him, and imagine this,
he's leaning closer and if, if he's like

laying in the bosom of Jesus, what he's
really doing is he's leaning back and

just looking up and whispering to Jesus.

This is a whisper.

Lord, who is it?

What kind of question is that?

That is a bold, risky question.

Because he's asking the Lord
who's going to betray him.

Who of your closest confidants,
the twelve, is going to betray you?

See, when you're a lover of Jesus and
you receive his love, And, and you're

primarily marked by his love for you,
you can ask questions others can't.

You will ask questions others can't,
because you care more, because you're

closer to him, and you care for him, and
you want him to, you want to, you want to

bless him, and you want to be with him.

So he asks this question, Lord, who is it?

It's bold there.

And then what does, what does Jesus do?

He answers, it is he to whom
I will give this morsel of

bread when I have dipped it.

Okay.

Amen.

Imagine Jesus whispering that back.

John actually gets an answer.

Now, Jesus didn't say this out loud so
everybody could hear, because if you keep

reading, he says, He dips the morsel,
gives it to Judas, and then Judas,

immediately when he takes the morsel,
Satan enters into him, and Jesus then

says to him, What you are going to do,
do it quickly, and he, and he leaves.

Now listen to what it says in verse 28.

Now no one at the table knew
why he said this to him.

Some thought that because Jesus had the
money bag, Jesus was telling him, buy what

we need for the feast, or that we should,
he should give something to the poor.

Nobody heard Jesus say, it's the one
whom I dip this morsel of bread into.

So Jesus is whispering back to John.

What is this, what is this telling us?

That lovers know things others don't.

Uh, proximity, intimacy with Jesus,
sharing love with him, receiving his love.

He'll, he'll share secrets with you.

He will share things with you
that others, uh, don't know.

Does that make you better?

No.

No, it doesn't make you better,

but it makes you feel pretty special.

When someone close to you shares
a secret with you, doesn't it

make you feel close to them?

That they would trust you with that.

Here's what's happening here.

Jesus is trusting John with
the anguish of his heart.

With the burden of his heart
of who's going to betray him.

Jesus is showing trust in John.

A trust that he's not
necessarily sharing with others.

When you're, when you're close to Jesus
in proximity, and you're near, and you

have intimacy, and you love him, and you
know he loves you, and you spend all this

time with him, loving him, laying your
head on his chest, what, the fruit of

that is he's gonna share things with you.

He's gonna trust you with information,
with insight, with revelation

about his heart, about who he is,

and others will notice.

Why does Simon Peter motion to John?

Because he knew John could get things
out of Jesus that maybe others couldn't.

So when you're pursuing Jesus and close
to him, don't be surprised when others

begin motioning to you and saying,
Hey, what is the Lord saying to you?

Uh, so I just been captivated by this.

And I'll close, I'll close
with one more picture.

If you fast forward to John
19, which is the, The cross.

Jesus is crucified.

He's hanging there on the cross
in between the two thieves.

The soldiers are dividing up his tunic
and his garments, and they're split.

They're just, they're dividing his clothes
and sharing them right at the foot of

where Jesus is being crucified and killed.

But what does it say in verse 25?

But standing by the cross of Jesus were
his mother, his mother's sister, Mary

the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene,
when Jesus saw his mother and the

disciple whom he loved standing nearby.

Who's there?

The only disciple.

At the moment of Jesus greatest
suffering and anguish, who's there?

The women in his life, and John.

And he said to his mother,
Woman, behold your son.

Then he said to the
disciple, Behold your mother.

And from that hour, the
disciple took her to his home.

Um, John followed Jesus,
even when it got really hard.

He followed Jesus to the deepest
depths of his anguish, his

troubles, his anxieties, his fears.

John followed him the whole way.

Leaders don't do that.

Lovers do that.

You don't count the cost as
a lover because you love.

You just do it because you love.

It doesn't make sense.

And that love took John and the women
in Jesus life all the way to the foot of

the cross where he is suffering for them.

And what happens?

Jesus, in only the way Jesus can, from
the place of his greatest suffering,

gives John a special assignment.

Do you think that there is anybody
more precious on this earth than Jesus?

When Jesus was here than his own
mother, do you think there's anybody

he wanted to care for more and make
sure was okay than his own mother Mary?

No one.

Jesus was human and a, and as a, as a son.

Love who loved his mother and he's dying.

He's leaving his mother with no one.

Joseph was dead at this point.

Mary had no source of income.

If, if Jesus doesn't do something,
he's leaving his mom and his mom

is gonna have no, no money, no
place to go, no status in society.

So what does he do?

He entrusts her to the one he loved.

See, lovers go to the places that
burn, that, the places that cause

Jesus the most trouble and anguish.

And from that place, they receive
special assignments from Jesus.

These assignments that Jesus
cares most dear about, because

they're the closest to his heart.

But we can only get there as we
suffer alongside him as a lover.

So, man, I just feel like the Lord
is, is revealing His heart for

lovers people his church to come
back to first love like in Revelation

And I'm just now I've been remembering
this in the book of Revelation When Jesus

is giving letters to the churches and he
gives a letter to the church in Ephesus

in Revelation chapter Sorry, I'm
turning I wasn't prepared for this

part When he's writing to the church
in Ephesus He affirms them for some

things but then he says I have this
against you you have abandoned the

love you had at first You know who were
the leaders of the church in Ephesus?

Jesus's mother Mary and John the Apostle.

What had happened in the church
of Ephesus at this point in

Revelation when this is written?

John's actually writing this back to his
church in Ephesus and Mary, I think might

be dead at this point I'm not sure, but
the church had abandoned their first love.

What, what, what, what
might that have meant?

They've abandoned their standing
at the foot of the cross.

Going places where Jesus heart was
in the deepest anguish and finding

special assignments in those places.

I think they had abandoned that.

So go back to your first love.

Do what you did at first.

It says, remember therefore
from where you have fallen.

Repent and do the works you did at first.

Maybe you're listening to this
and you've thought, man, I've

fallen from my first love.

I've fallen from my love that I've had for
Jesus and I've turned it into a task or

a work or a mission and I tried to lead
a movement rather than love a person.

And if that's you, man, just repent,
turn from your ways, go back to him.

Remember what life was like when you loved
him first and do those things over again.

Spend hours in worship.

Spend hours in prayer just loving
on him and being loved by him.

Open the scriptures and search
for the cross of Jesus in the Old

Testament and the New Testament.

Um, surround yourself with people who are
embarrassingly in love with Jesus and ask

the Lord that it might be imparted to you.

Surround yourself with the love of Jesus.

Repent.

Do the works you did at first.

Because Jesus isn't looking for
leaders right now in this hour.

He's looking for lovers.

People who are with him when it's hard.

Uh, people who find special assignments
in those places, people who want to

lay their chest in his bosom and find
identity there, uh, because that's

what we're called to as his church.

He loves y'all.

He loves y'all so much.

Uh, he loves me.

I'm the disciple whom Jesus loves.

That's who I am.

And you are too.

Let's walk in that this week.

Love you guys.

I'll be back for another update soon.

Uh, have a great week.